Hi everyone, I think I’m going to stop apologising for being lax on here again. This week has been as always manic and crazy and although I should have posted more this week that’s ok. Anyway my mood will all become apparent in a moment.
Last week I was so pleased to see a post by the lovely Amy CT about how she had been feeling ridiculously happy the past week, and the reason was simply because she had chosen to be. I’ve always believed that you make your own happiness and things will only happen if you let them, but it had never dawned on me that I could be the one stopping myself from smiling. I’m generally a fairly happy person don’t get me wrong but when something happens, no matter how small, it can totally bring me down for a full day. And I’ve realised that for want of a better expression this is fucking stupid!
Of course there are always things to smile about; while I’m not going to London College of Fashion I have instead gotten into Northumbria doing Fashion Communication, which I absolutely loved and never thought I’d get in to. I may not have the most money but I can dream and find things that are in my price range like a simple pub sharer meal with friends.
I think another reason for this big change of heart has to do with my tattoos; Friday was the one year anniversary since my second tattoo which reads “Remember the stars” I’ve wrote about my tattoos before and what they mean to me but more than anything this one (which is my second) symbolised for me a recognition that not everything was bad and that life was on the up again. The typing below is the plan for my third tattoo; some of you may recognise its a quote from Defying Gravity which is from my favourite Wicked. I was lucky enough to see it last month and the whole thing despite being entirely fantasy and fiction had a big effect on me. Without spoiling the plot Elphaba, the Wicked witch, has to choose between what is right and what will bring her eternal glory, in choosing the right path she is seen as evil by everyone around her but she knows that by remaining true to herself she can never be brought down. And simply put the words mean the same to me, I’ve been brought down and scorned for making the break away from what I knew but it was right for me. I’m determined to get my third tattoo when I finish college.
So although this ultimately became a big ramble, I think it made some sense and I hope that if you’re in the same frame of mind it’ll make sense to you too.
Be proud of who you are and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.
Love as always
Sidenote- If you have my on BBM my Blackeberry is broken at the minute so that’s why I’m not replying. I have another phone so text me if you can